the world

First of all I must say that I do not think that there is still sth. like nations, it´s everywhere the same, everyone runs and rushes for more money, more reputation, more influence, more goods, and so on. I cannot understand this whole.my father an unable man, never cared about us, we have of course enough to eat and so, but for example before I was born he build a house and he draw it by himself, and it was like we had two little rooms to live in and a 100m^2 100m square big guest hall. where we were not allowed to enter. my father always gave me the feeling that I never gonna take it far. he has been probably the most discouraging person in my life. at all I never lived in luxus, I always has just as much as was enough to live, and still nowdays I am overjoyed if I have the money to buy a cd in a month. I know I could be in better position, but I am like hating earning money, I saw all these rich people in Iran and they were so different from me, I thought that being rich must be a case of snobs, I never thought slightly of earning money, I always felt like I belong to the poor people. I never learned the value of money, and now it´s too late. I am not impressed when a Michael Jordan says he earns 60 million a year. I don´t know why. It even piss me off when people talk like that. People talking like yeah I worked hard for my money, damn they are a lot of people who are working hard or even would work harder, but not earn 100 million the year. So I don´t really was born in a situation to share the ideals of this modern world. I don´t say they are bad, a lot of progress has been brought by money horney persons, but for me such things have no value, like internet is not invented by noble minds, and also I use internet, I cannot say I respect the people who have invented it. at the end september 11 would have maybe not been possible through internet. So when I talk about Iran, I will not change this background, of feeling like a foreigner in this world, no matter where I live. and if I talk about Iran to you, then for correcting your views, not for praising Iran. I saw things there, like my teacher hitting a little child , you know that give you the feeling that there is no rule in the world, that there is no way for you to success, then to be an asshole and do what other people wants from you. But now to the subject, before I get to much close to personal problems of me.
Iran is a curious country, first of all it is not a arabic country. but has been conquered by arabs I think in 11 century or so. Fanatic thinking is only a part of the life in Iran. For the people in Iran the fanatic talk is not much worse then the idea of the west that when conquering Iran bring democracy to the country. The people who are poor, see no hope, but that ´s not the group that build up the fanatic part of Iran. It are more those who are wealthy. And yes it is right that Iran is a threat to the west. As I said the leading and wealthy elite is fanatic. Iran is a country where gays are hanged, that´s also Iran. It´s just a year ago where I read that two gay young men where hanged. I personally feel more comfortable in Iran, there I have not all these psychic pain, but there I would have troubles to earn a living. but let´s say I win a million dollar or say ten, the first thing I would do would be probably to go back to iran. you know I don´t care much about politics, but I am tired of the thinking of europe, like all Iranians are moslems, and then further, moslems are terrorists, and we have to fight terrorists. damn we are living in a world where any ass can buy guns and explosives, what the hell has that to do with Islam, US has spend 100 billions on war on terror, and a great propaganda that how just this war is. I am just sick of all these talk , I am not a terrorist, but since 11 september I just feel like I am one. so I would like to go back to Iran, because the way the west treat the east is not right in my view. I guess when I am six months in Iram I want again to leave, you know I belong to neither part, because I have an odd view, I don´t think that terrorism is the main fight of our century.
What I cannot deny is that Iran is hating US , and that US does hate Iran, so I am not on the side of Iran, but I am not going to say, hey US it´s good to invade Iran. I have a radical view, that the civilized world is maybe a proud world, but they all lack of the same mistakes then the uncivilzed world. I should say I suck at politics, I get only emotional. when I try to talk about politics, I just get all mixed up. I really see no surprise in 9 11 because I know these fanatics from my own experience, and I see no surprise in the reaction, because I know that the way big politics is run. so what I see is only a confused mankind. damn before I get stamped as a new Moore, I will stop for this post. really I admit this not an easy post, a lot of my personal problems play a great role in the background, I will try to post again on this topic.