yeah

I have to think on a completely new theory and attitude, life is so hard, c., everything just throw you out of course, I appreciate your beatuy and strength, but we both know you cannot help me. I have to go this lonely road. trying to get you back in my thoughts, but I am too mixed up by the moods of the girl at internship. just listening to lasgo, good sound. I thought today whether I should not read more recent books. still, I have the book from Camus, man in revolt or so, I have read it already but wanted to read it again. oh damned how I wish I could see you. maybe you wil give me a chance one day. meanwhile I think I am a little bit mad, you know that I hate the state of madness, failure I can accept,also being wrong, but madness ? madness is sth. I really do not like. and you know what I am talking about. I tried to solve my problems through writing, but that does not work, so now I really do not do, what to do, all these problems comes from others, they way they treat me and eachother, that´s my problem. so I have try still to find a solution for my own. you are so caring and so nice, everytime talking to you, I feel understood. that´s probably the reason why I came always back to you. I am a tired person, tired of what is called luck and modern life. in this we always will kept together, and that give sme peace, thanks harry