love you

I think the title says everything, c. , I know we never will meet in this world, all I can is to watch some pics of you. that makes me sad and frustrated. I feel a lot for you, and I know you do the same... well at least I hope.
Today I will write, I have planned to devote my day to that, no gym or so. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

hmm

I thought long, seriously and fruitless on you. You seem so far away and undersuch circumstances of being not available, but on the otherside you have touched my heart, I hope you read these lines and find peace of mind in them, I don´t like C. and R. has become just a pic of him, really a desaster, but it´s not to change, you are not the first women inn this situation, but one I wish I could help out, well I am not famous, as much I wish I would be, I think a lot of you, especially since the new photos, I know i shouldn´t, it´s a silly dream I hang on, madness, but I cannot stop... know that my feelings for your are strong, for your family weak, so am I... also I wish we would meet one day I know this is not gonna happen, so stay well, my dear friend, love and inspiration... as long as this world is such a shit I will not be happy, and without you at all not, so just give me a sign on the road of unhappiness, let me know you feel like me, and not the opposite, your friend, HArry

new stuff

every thing is changing, everything is getting better! I just wonder why my life is not getting better. I have not blogged for long time, I don t know what to add in this cold irrational space of internet, sometimes I am really sucked up with internet, well it´s still better then TV. life is changing, but why do people believe that the new is better then the old? I don´t know. I had a really depressed day, and so it is my blogging. I have been thrown out of my internship, and I really HATE the people there. What arrogant assholes , I am really too worried how to come over over my last week, that ewill be next week. It was last week like, the first think I hear is can you please tide up your place before you leave, it´s like all the talk I get from my mother, rthat I will manage nothing, that I should take my pills and so on. I didn´t took them for 4 days, I hate them and now I took them and what effect? I laid from 11-17 in my bed unable to move. These pills are really killing me. I have really reached a state of silent continous desperation, I just wanna see and talk to no one. really my life is as grey as it could be! harry

new start

K. I know we never had the chance to be together, but don´t think it´s your mistake, things happen with out much addittion from our own site. I miss you much, your support , your understanding, it´s really a curious situation, it was a bad time when you left, I was again weird. now that I have calmed down I miss you twice. enough for now, wait for a message from you, harry

today

Hello everyone, how are you? first of all thanks walkover for your comment, you are definetly the person that keeps this blog alive. Today I had a day off. I was out, working out a little bit and then doing some office stuff, and then getting back home, meeting my carer and so on. So it was a pretty normal day, except the case that it´s now foggy outside. Right now I will cook sth. with my roomate but he is on the phone, so that I will blog a little bit. but otherwise I don´t know what to blog about. what I abhorr totally is empty talk. talking is silver, silence is gold, is a spell here in Germany. Well that is maybe not always the case. But nonethe less I like the spell. Tomorrow I will stand up already and live again my daily life! for which reasons and why? I really don´t knoooow! ok, I hope to blog next time better, harry

the world

I am often overwhelmed whether in fear or in admiration by being! what is this endless universe, with all it´s shinning and not shinning stars! I don know, and what do we search in it? we little creepy animals! We feel like we are strong and sophisticated because we know how to build cars and bombs and so on. But what is all our yelling in the silence of the universe, why can we hear , why can we think, all philosophy become so null and void, if you see things in this way, philosophy is making believe , not believe it´s self! philosophy lecturers will shake their head impatiently at this comment, yeah but we are nothing else then stardust, and Kant or Hegel or whatever you teach, is not as great as you think! That I had to yell out at the world! I am fascinated by nature, I am fascinated by being, the sky , with it´s clouds, seems to me above all poems! what I wann asay is that this world will mock and laugh on everyone who will try to be it´s ruler, call himself it´s ruler, so better be humble! wow now I became pretty mystic, what!
But this whole view bears also fear in it, we cannot feel little and nothing. I often get fear by all that talk how old the universe it! let it in peace! I want to cry out, and let me in peace with it! So what is this mystery at all? I don´t know.
My odd keyboard is using this ś , where does it come from? I have to push twice the ´ button to make it ´s and not ś. really weird! damn my pc! haha, ok, enough weird thoughts! be happy, and nice Christmas time, harry

can´t get rid of this blog

I dedcided to stay at this blog and have the other bolg as my second blog. Walkover was disappointed that I hadn blog so long, hmm, ok, I will blog for this reason tonight twice or trible! A tribble double is an admireable thing in basketball, but i will not now discuss what it is, i want to talk about the need of each of us to be who we are.

We are all born as humans, we speak a language and most of us learn also writing or reading, I say most, because I guess 20% of world population cannot read or write. So we start all with the same possiblities , except those who are born with a disability. Some of us gain earthly matters and feel for this reason superior to others. But in our modern times the call for perfectness is everywhere. You need the perfect body, the perfect look , but this is not the end, you need the perfect car, the perfect house and the perfect friends, the perfect life run, and so on. And at last you need th eperfect thoughts. Bad thoughts are so tabu, for someone who wants to be perfect. So everyone has to give up his individuality to be part of this perfect world, that some dumb people has created. My start of my new blog has been such a try to apt to the prefectness of the world. In a world where just everything has to FUNCTION, I have here and there also the desire to function, but we have overseen that functioning is not life, we can make all people look the same, like all supermarket workers wear the same dress, but we cannot make so the persons better. We are getting more and more lik ecomputers, who should all do the same.At all the cry for perfectness is there, whether it comes from the computer industry or not , this does not matter. But we should know we all have our failures, we are not born to be angels, angels belong into the heaven, we are still on earth. But nowadays people believe you can earn heaven! do this and that and god will save you, but is this not arrogant? Is this not God´s grandeur to sqave us?
I at all have give up to be perfect, so I stick to my unperfect blog! haha, so much talk for this little decision! I am reeeeally a fearful person! harry

new blog

every beginning is also an end.

here my new address, my new blog : http://weirdwordz.blogspot.com

hope to have some visitors.