back

back again, but nothing to write! I miss walkover a lot, just don´t know what has happened to her. read today suzies blog, and send also a comment, now it´s time to sleep, remembered today sengai, the wise zenmaster. so much for that, harry ;)

comments

hy ananymous, you left full 69 comments on this site! repeating each 15 times! :) next time just post, then reload and you comment will appear, that´s still a problem with the blogger, that you only see your comment or entry after reloading.

c. I saw the pics, and got now evidence. still I wanna kiss you, but more not. you are afraid to loose me? have I completely lost my mind? life will continue with or without me, you know that, your life, but why do you give credits to a guy you don´t like, you know that´s a bad example, and your child will grow the same way, never getting happy. we start from new the education blog,

today is a free day, and I hope I will enjoy it. hey ananymous please come back. the people commenting this side, are all great, so visit their blogs too. maybe you have a blog too, or will get one?? hehe ok, so much for now, harry- sorry for my crazy c. posts, ...

new start

what belongs to women, I am a completely moron, for the first women seldom choose the one they love. but I cannot get this in to my head. if then I would be a much happy person ;) ok enough for that.
will talk to you later.

a fine blog

Hello everyone, today I am doing again early blogging, it´s just 6 o´clock, thanks everyone for their comments, suzie it´s cool you like reading too, you are absolutely right, it´s a great thing to forget the world over a book. Today is a new day and I look forward to it, I have like each days plans, but you know how it is with plans, they always sound great, but are never executed. I have my new pc, finally, so I hope to keep it for the next 4 years, this is another of my great plans. weather yesterday was pretty rough, but as I gave my old pc to my friend, he had the idea to transport it at the same day , he is just living 10 min away. so how does it work? he took his bycycle and an umbrella whiel I was caring the heavy pc through the rain! I told him, I will never again gave him anything. At all I got really wet yesterday.
please realize the link in the title and take your time to read through that blog ,
ok, so much for now, hope everyone is fine, harry.

back again

time to write a little bit, the weekend had been not very bad , but also not superb. I read a little bit, what was good, getting away from this flat world. still reading is one of my passions, I just need reading, and so on. tomorrow will be a new day and I look forward to it. will take a look around on the other blogs, and hope to read sth. and listen also a little bit to music.
after all th eweather here has got warm, and people are outside, I personally like more normal weather, not heat or burning sunshine. I wanted to visit a friend tonight, but I think Iam gonna cancell it. so much for now harry.

new start

I was today in a bad mood, have written a lot at my thoughts blogs, so this blog is coming a little bit short. finally it´s weekend. my new pc is there, but we have ordered a part wrong, so we have to sell it e-bay and buy a new one, that pretty odd. Have planned today to read a lot, but I more think I gonna sleep a lot, that´s life, how is everyone doing, hope everything is fine. I desperately wait on my new book on smuggling. hope it will soon arrive, I just need sth. to read. at all wish everyone a nice weekend.

new start

new start have few to write, how are you all? I think this blog is somehow lacking of ideas, but I will keep it alive. Remembered today the happy days I was in school! harry

hmmm

had awful headache yesterday, still ihave nothing interesting to post. I just wait for another day and another day and so on...

yeah

I have to think on a completely new theory and attitude, life is so hard, c., everything just throw you out of course, I appreciate your beatuy and strength, but we both know you cannot help me. I have to go this lonely road. trying to get you back in my thoughts, but I am too mixed up by the moods of the girl at internship. just listening to lasgo, good sound. I thought today whether I should not read more recent books. still, I have the book from Camus, man in revolt or so, I have read it already but wanted to read it again. oh damned how I wish I could see you. maybe you wil give me a chance one day. meanwhile I think I am a little bit mad, you know that I hate the state of madness, failure I can accept,also being wrong, but madness ? madness is sth. I really do not like. and you know what I am talking about. I tried to solve my problems through writing, but that does not work, so now I really do not do, what to do, all these problems comes from others, they way they treat me and eachother, that´s my problem. so I have try still to find a solution for my own. you are so caring and so nice, everytime talking to you, I feel understood. that´s probably the reason why I came always back to you. I am a tired person, tired of what is called luck and modern life. in this we always will kept together, and that give sme peace, thanks harry

new start

it´s time to tell you all my history, I was send to psychiatry four years ago, so suzie I am also a disabled person, also in another way, the problems around me just seemed unsolveable for me, I behaved curious, so people decided I should go in psychiatry. this is th ebackground of all what I am writing,

@suzie thanks for your care, I will stay not always there only four months still to go. then I have again nothing or so, I don´t know.

hmm I am not writing much here , please visit also cassirer.blogspot.com , there you can read if this blog is not updated regularly.
tonight I wanna work a little bit, but i don´t know what, whether reading or writing. I just need to work, that gives my mind alittle peace. so much for now, thank you all for your support. harry

new start

hy c. tim efor an update post, internship sucks, the girl I felt I gonna not stay without her turned out to be a real failure, it´s due to time till this becomes clear to me, at all I belive she will first know what she has missed when i am gone! tehn everything is too late, but so are people they act just when it´s too late. it´s really great to write to you, to always come back and find a smile on your face, I was just about to forget this values! I have ordered a new pc, but have still to pay it, then it will be delivered, on monday I have to do three calls, two by docs, cancelling appointments, one at th einsurance, i know I still have not done it. I really don´t look forward to monday. I hope you are ok and doing well, as well as it just is possible in this mad times. and we are for sure living in mad times. don´t look really forward to times when i have to work 6 hours, working is just torture for me, I know a lot of people love their work, or at least pretend it, but hey I am one of those idiots, who get destroyed by their works! ok c. enough for now, I love you, keep me in mind harry

blogs

yeah walkover blogging is really fun, glad I have found some good blogs. I am just listening to a new cd, it´s good to listen again to some fast unconventional music! still 2 hours till I have to leave toward internship, I think I gonna take a brake now. harry

life

time to talk again, I wish to get rid of thoughts, that are not connected to you, c. , I wish we could meet and spend some time to gether, to see in your eyes the universe, to know, that my doubts are now sleeping, to know, that I have escaped misery, that I will be in heaven, because you gave me the experience of it just on earth. we are very lucky to know each other, you are like the first sproud of green, after a desasting fire! things are really not easy, but you always remind me, what humanity is, I like you way of being without hesitation! hope you enjoy what I write, it´s just good. thanks harry.

today

it is always the same by me, i get too quick lost in a girl, and when it seems to get serious, they just left me where I am, I just wonder I never learn sth. out of it. making job interesting? maybe I could sing during packing packages! that´s would be maybe more interesting! no, internship is just shit , I hope I get sth. serious soon.
have seriously to deal with linux, but it´s hard, my firewall is just blocking everything... I want to make my own firewall. my own router, the plan is to do it in 2 years! hope I will keep to this plan. everything step by step. for now I have my flatrate and should be happy with that.
sorry if i am sometimes harsh at internship I get the idea to argue with everyone,

my other blog

walkover you wanted an update on my work, I am still there, you want probably know what i think of the labmanager, the girl that smiled on me?? oh she never did that again, I am not thinking more much of her. it´s up to her to start a thing.
work you cannot call that what I am doing. it´s kind of being busy what I do. but nothing that would satisfy you. after work I have emotional problems , always.
visited pennys blog, she is inclined into army, her husband is serving. I have not thought that. but I think I can understand her well, also my own views does differ, not that I am one of those who are always for peace, no, what made me stumble was the clear expression, I never use clear expressions, always talk this and that. at all i never have gave my view on army, and will try not to give it. I can not put it in words.. so much for now. harry

hate

I am famous by the few friends I have that I find everything bad. That´s just my attitude I just don´t like anything, not persons( don´e feel you included ;)), nor music, nor tv or whatever. c. where are you? I miss you, you know that. to be sure I do not visit anymore floras blog, she is always talking about her friend. sorry flora. walkover are you sure your e-mail address is right not yahoo.co.uk ?? I send you a mail and it came back! my best friends e-mail jivko is down too. people are living so much in used expressions, in worn out thoughts , it´s a mess!
@c. you taught me several basic things on life, I wish I could have you ,met you! so nice no one was before to me! thanks.
walkover you talked about money, what the hell is this? ;) you are a little bit a conservative walkover, hehe, I just had to say that.
too many problems , as usual. so much for this post, thanks harry

a bee and a flower
what does the galaxie
need more!!!

PHOTO

here a photo with a new hair cut, means without cap, or whatever...

new post

it´s defintely time for a new post. all the other blogs are sleeping. so at least I have to do something. totally confused by this girl at internship. please no advices I am confused enough. she is sometimes just a freak. like all people who have studied chemistry, but sometimes she is so nice. so much to my feelings!
ordered to day a cd. wow, that´s really a great investment when peopel know how less money i try to spend. I have not a regular job, so I have not so much money, so. what else is there to say? I am mad no question! something further?? need to work on ONE thing. that´s all for now harry

3 o´clock

it´s three o´clock in the morning and I am awake and sitting in front of the pc. listining some punk music, remembering times where life was good, trying to post sth. that does makes sense. visited a blog of a good looking girl , check it out, mirrorgirlfiles.blogspot.com , worth a reading, but she seems not to answer on comments, and also seldom posting, so at all not such a great find as I thought. still on the hunt for some good blogs. I never have thought I get so far with blogging, but thanks to some kind people , who keep this blog alive, it has become a hobby of me. still too lazy to type more in my philosophy blog. recently wrote about the expression normal. so I wish everyone a nice day. harry

fears

suzie, sorry to hear about your chronical pain, that must be a really hard thing. I hope it will get better.
I was yesterday by a friend of me, and he complained about me, that I am so bad mooded in the last time, that really hurt me.
posted some funny stuff at brittany daniel online. nice new photos of her available. I always get in good mood seeing her smile.
read a little camus tomorrow morning, and wrote some stuff for my cassirer blog. just need someoe to type them in. :)
have nothing planned for today. just want to have a lonely day and a normal one. still longing for deep thoughts.
have typed 100 pages in the pc and send them to dietmar my friend, he will try to publish them, but still no new news.
things I have to do: calling my insurance for some stuff. sorting my papers and letters. have delayed it all for two weeks! tomorrow. :)
fears everywhere.
now to zen: here a really funny zen story, it really delighted me, also I ma unkown in zen:
"when yakusan for the first time came to sekito(700-790) he asked him: "i have studied the three pitaka und the twelve abstracts of the buddha writings. but I have not the slightest idea of th enow in the south taught teaching, that goes straight to the spirit and tries to lead us through insight to the nature of buddhaship. can you teach me about that?" sekito answered: " saying yes is worthless, denying is worthless, saying yes-denying is worthless."
yakusan couldn´t understand that, so sekito gave him the advice to go to Baso. yakusan came to baso with the same question , that he asked sekito. baso answered:
" sometimes I heave my eyebrows, or twinker with the eyes. sometimes I do not do this. sometimes he feels very good when he heaves eyebrows and twinker . sometimes he feels very bad when he is doing that. "
this statement at once oppened the eyes of yakusan for the truth of zen. but he didn´t know how to express himself. he just bowed ( making a sign of admiration) in front of baso in admiration. baso said:" why that?" " when i was by sekito it was like a moskito is peeking an iron bull." that was all that yakusan could give as answer.

answer

well actually its about enlightment and getting rid of pains! to this goal that is called enlightment, there are used curious methods, liking asking paradox stuff, or even kicking or punching!some people just get englightment when they are punched , actually zen people are monks, but as you can see I am only interested in my sort of zen, that´s called harrys zen, means my own zen, I like the zen master sengai, but with the rest I cannot start much.
from sengai comes the simile, that if it were all about meditating or zazen, sitting still, then frogs also would be all enlightened! so you see zen is not without humour. hope I could help you further.

zen????!

hy suzie, thank you, this is my approach to zen, I am concerned with this religion since I am 16, I like especially the zen master sengai, you can find paintings of him in the net, I will try to send more short poems, maybe a little explanation to the three peoms, seeing your shadow is meant shadow of a tree on the grass, feeling alright means I am facinated by it´s look, nothing to change, means it brings me in good mood.
the second is about a girl at internship and her lack of zen, she is saying hello but in real she is meaning goodbye!
the third is about a tree again but this time one wich flourish, and I talk to him , saying like me, and ending with complete harmony between me and the tree!
hope the comments were helpful, nice day harry

always tomorrow

my fav phrase is tomorrow I gonna change everything. but till now tomorrow has not come. am in th emood to write some zen phrases.

seeing your shadow
feeling allright
nothing to change!


saying hello, saying good bye
all we talked
what a pity!


demand me as I am
and you will be happy
I am you.

things

hello everyone, today was better, I did not really lot of work, I hang around a little bit, looked out for the lab leader I like, or better say I liked, she is too much convinced of herself. I don´t know I have not such a hard life, but always feel bad or hard. I am a kind of very sensitive person. maybe it´s my environment I do not apt to. I really appreciate your comments, it´s great to come home and then speak to you. everything has it´s time, that´s sth. I believe in, and I believe that a lot of people can do nothing for their life, they would be better if they had the oppurtunities, this keeps me from being arrogant. It´s hard to work with all these doctors and what I don´t know, they just give you straight notice what they think of you. maybe I am too sensitive... so was a beautiful sunny day, hope everyone the day was good. last night I get emotional and wrote a lot at my philosophy blog, unfortunately no one has left there a comment!
@suzie appreciate much your comment, it comes from heart, beside I should again upload a photo to my blog! hehe

good night to everyone , bye harry

boring

was near a breakdown today at internship, so lonely , so boring. now I feel a little bit better. so much for now.

love

hy everyone, how are you? I hope everyone is well. I am liking more and more a girl at internship, she is the lab "leader" Laborleiterin at german, but if I would ask her to date, I would probably receive a no, and for sure loose my job. about my intership, it´s difficult on german to describe what it is about. I work in the department marketing , the whole stately company is about examining water and earth(?) , the jobs I get are normally pretty odd. people not really respect me, but they just as mortal as I! hahaha. god is at th eend just! my philosophy blog is still to be updated. I am sooo lazy with typing. hope everything is fine, your harry

thanks

hy thanks for all your comments,
@ suzie, thanks for visting, see my philosophy blog at cassirer.blogspot.com , if you are interested in serious thoughts, my blog is written so as for a special person, but actually is written for everyone... I just pretend I have some one special in mind. that´s then easier to write, can I add a link to yourblog, you have a great talent of photography! I am a great fan of good photography.

@walkover oh hope the same, please visit suzies blog it´s a very nice one, I think she is an art students or so.

@flora yeah brittany daniel is defintelly cool. but she is not a big celeberty! and also love comes and go...

today

hy, i will today think of you and hope everything gonna go well, I am mad I know that does not make things easier, saw new pics of brittany daniel, the girl I love, but completely unreachable for me! spend my weekend dwelling in my mad thoughts, trying to figure out what´s about on unix! It´s hard to get a start in unix, a computer system, but don´t wanna go back to Windows, for that I not have the money, always updating and buying the newest hardware. forget about managing the pc.
soon i have to go. is a specific of human life that our wishes remain unsatisfied?? you know what I am talking about! how is everything going?
walkover I have a friend who works 13 hours the day, but he will get rid of that, work not always make you happy. harry

life

why does always peopel think they have found the solution for life? I still wonder why? you know people come around telling you this and that, you should do this and that, these are the right values and these th ewrong, I ask myself, why do they believe by crushing others they can solve their problems?? the discussion is not about values, it´s about using values for your own purposes, you know it well, you know how much I suffer under it, but still I have faith, Iwish to meet you, my attempts to change th eblog were not very successful, I just had nothing more to write! have fun, your harry...

boring

Tha days had been kind of boring, I really lack of concentration and a sense in life! that´s dangerous! harry